Stop Choosing Women Who Excite You, Start Choosing the Ones Who Expand You
- Channa Bromley
- May 6
- 2 min read
What I wish all men who keep falling for the wrong people understood is that they’re not choosing partners, they’re choosing patterns. If you keep attracting women who treat you poorly or aren’t aligned with your values, it’s not a coincidence. It’s because you’re selecting with your instincts, not your intellect. You're choosing based on momentary desires, be it sexual fulfillment or excitement, rather than considering the long-term compatibility and emotional support that you actually need.
When men stay in relationships where they’re treated poorly, but the sex is good, or they feel that temporary rush, it’s because they’re choosing transactional relationships. These relationships might fulfill an immediate need, but they don’t nurture true emotional growth. In fact, they’re sabotaging it. The problem with choosing purely based on attraction or sexual chemistry is that it doesn’t account for the emotional, intellectual, and long-term needs of the relationship. It’s about the feeling of the moment, not the substance of the connection.
To stop the pattern, you need to develop mastery in discernment. You must get clear on what you really want in a partner, not just what feels good in the moment. Stop being reactive to your impulses and start making decisions based on a clear vision of your future. A partner should help you grow, not keep you stuck in unhealthy cycles. They should be your wings, someone who expands you, encourages you, and helps you become the person you’re meant to be. Without that, you’re simply wasting time.
A man’s true power comes from his ability to select a partner based on more than just chemistry. It's about emotional alignment and growth. If you’re constantly chasing something that only meets temporary needs, you're setting yourself up for failure. Stop choosing with your body and start choosing with your mind and your future in focus.
