When Talking Too Much Becomes a Spiritual Crime: Escaping the Yap Trap

Yap trapping is when one person hijacks the conversation on a date, talking endlessly without giving the other person space to engage. It is not just about talking too much. It is about control. It is about self-absorption. It is about a complete lack of social awareness. A yap trapper is not reading the room. They are performing.

Not every venting session is a safe space. Some people listen to respond. Others listen to judge. And then there are those who stop listening the moment it’s not about them.

This can have real consequences. A date is supposed to be an exchange, but yap trapping turns it into an audience and a speaker. It kills attraction fast because attraction thrives on curiosity and connection. If one person is doing all the talking, there is no room for mystery, no room for intrigue, no room for the other person to feel seen. When someone yap traps, they are not building interest. They are draining it.

If your date is yap trapping, interrupt the rhythm. People who talk excessively are stuck in their own flow. You have to break it. A simple shift in energy can do it. Lean forward. Make direct eye contact. Say, "Hold on a second. I need to ask you something," and then change the subject. If they ignore the cue and keep steamrolling, you already have your answer. This is not someone interested in you. This is someone interested in hearing themselves talk.

Preventing yourself from yap trapping means learning to sit in silence. A lot of people yap trap because they cannot handle a pause. They think a quiet moment is awkward when in reality, it is where attraction builds. Let a question linger. Give the other person space to speak. Instead of telling a long-winded story, flip it back on them. If you feel like you are talking too much, you probably are. Stop. Look at their body language. If they are nodding but not speaking, if their energy feels disengaged, if they are taking a sip of their drink just to have something to do, they are already bored.

The best conversations feel like a dance, not a monologue. If one person is carrying all the weight, the connection is already dead.