Texting Games Are Power Moves—Here’s How to Stop Playing

There is no universal countdown for how long is too long to wait for a text. The real question is not how long but why. The gap between messages is not just about time. It is about intent, interest, and control. A delayed response can mean anything from genuine busyness to calculated indifference. The key is recognizing when inconsistency is just personality versus when it is a power move.

"Texting games only work if you play—control the conversation by refusing to chase."

If someone goes from rapid-fire texting to silence and back again, they are not bad at communication. They are communicating very clearly. They are conditioning you to tolerate unpredictability, training you to crave their attention when they decide to give it. This pattern of flooding you with attention and then pulling back is classic intermittent reinforcement. It keeps people emotionally hooked far more than steady, predictable affection ever could.

Mismatched texting styles are something you can work with if the underlying connection is strong. Some people are not glued to their phones, and not every delay is a slight. But if someone's texting patterns leave you feeling anxious, undervalued, or constantly second-guessing where you stand, it is not just a communication issue. It is a power imbalance. A person genuinely interested in you will not leave you in a state of uncertainty.

Patchy texting, especially the kind that alternates between intense engagement and sudden silence, is a red flag. It signals either emotional inconsistency or a strategic push-pull designed to keep you off balance. The fix is simple. Mirror their energy. If they text sporadically, stop overinvesting. If they disappear, do not chase. The second you stop rewarding their inconsistency with attention, you force them to either step up or fall away. Either way, you win.