The New Face of Domestic Violence: Understanding & Overcoming Coercive Control

As someone who has navigated both professional realms and personal experiences of trauma and abuse, I’ve seen firsthand how domestic violence, particularly coercive control, has evolved from being a hidden issue to one that’s openly discussed, though often misunderstood. Today, coercive control is recognized not just as physical violence but as a systematic approach to domination, often marked by manipulation, isolation, and financial or emotional abuse. I’ve worked extensively with clients affected by these dynamics, and the patterns have common roots: coercive control is less about anger and more about instilling fear to dismantle a person’s sense of self.

"Trapped in plain sight, fighting to be seen and heard."

The evolving understanding of domestic violence means that we now recognize abuse as an ongoing, controlling pattern that can be subtle yet devastating. Coercive control may involve tactics like gaslighting, isolating the individual from family and friends, and financial control. The emotional impact on victims is profound, often leading to anxiety, depression, and a loss of identity, as their world narrows to avoid provoking their abuser. In my own journey, these were tactics I endured, and I know that breaking free from them isn’t just physical—it's mental, emotional, and often spiritual.

Modern abuse can be difficult to spot and even more challenging to confront because coercive control often begins subtly, through loving gestures that evolve into restrictions. Victims may not even realize they’re in an abusive relationship until they’re deeply entwined, which makes it essential to educate both the public and victims about what coercive control truly is. Many survivors I work with are high-functioning individuals who’ve managed to maintain their careers and social lives, which makes it even harder for friends or family to recognize signs of abuse.

One way we’re addressing this issue today is by broadening legal definitions to include non-physical forms of abuse. Countries like the UK have made strides in criminalizing coercive control, and there’s a growing push in the U.S. for similar legal recognition. In my own practice, I help survivors identify patterns of control and reclaim their autonomy through trauma-informed care and empowerment strategies, guiding them to build boundaries and reshape their lives post-abuse.

In today’s world, domestic violence looks different and is harder to identify—but with open conversation and improved education, we can create spaces that allow survivors to recognize control tactics and access support. Through stories like yours, we continue to dismantle the cultural stigma around IPV and empower individuals to recognize, resist, and rebuild. I’d be honored to contribute further insights or speak to evolving trends around IPV, emotional resilience, and healing.